well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
