She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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