Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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