phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
