Do you still have your period?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
