Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
In other news, I just burned my penis
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize