I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
