i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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