Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You took a bar mat shot.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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