I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
