I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
