so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
