Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
