I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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