so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
