Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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