There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
