no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
