She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
