He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
