god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
