I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize