Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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