WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
