My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
