i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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