Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm both gender and math confused
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
