I smell stomach acid.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
