i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
