Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
