I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
