Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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