I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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