Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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