My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize