Kiss
Puke
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
