One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
