mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
