my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
