woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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