lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I am midnight drunk by noon
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize