you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize