I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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