I'm laying in your front yard are you home
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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