My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
