So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
