If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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