Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
How external is "for external use only"?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
