I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
