The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
