I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
