remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I party with great urgency now.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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