I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
