A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
