Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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