I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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