my vag is so smooth its legendary
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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