Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
