Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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