Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize