Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Can Purell be used as lube?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
