Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
