so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
