But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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