if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize