He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
