Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
